Hey, I couldn’t resist this one.

An extreme baby pacifier that will put the spoil on your baby right off.

It’s getting near the holidays and if you have a newbie human tucked away in your home then you are most definitely in luck. You can start spoiling your cute little diaper filler right from the start with this ultra expensive but very exclusive pacifier from It’s My Binky.

For a mere $17,000 (no mistake, no extra zeroes, no joke) your precious bundle of joy can start a life of exclusivity with these fine features sticking out of its cute little mouth:

“We’re pleased to introduce our exclusive line of custom Diamond Pacifiers, the newest trend in celebrity baby gifting, available at ItsmyBinky.com Our sparkly Diamond Pacifiers feature over 278 pave cut white diamonds totaling 3 carats with a 14K European nickel-free white gold base. An exact replica
of a real pacifier, Diamond Pacifiers features a genuine silicone nipple and a real moving handle. Pacifiers can be customized with colored diamonds and engraved with baby’s name or initial, birth date or birth weight. Though we do not recommend actual use, the Diamond pacifier makes a fabulous, upscale keepsake and will become a new classic to that of bronzing baby shoes!”

Better get your order in. At this price the supply certainly won’t last long. Give your newbie human a head start with this must have baby accessory. Or, follow the instructions above and hang onto it as a keepsake. Just don’t expect to come up with the rent this year.

I don’t get it? My wife and I raised three kids. Actually she did most of the raising and I had a bunch of fun with them. Anyway, I can understand keepsakes from babyhood. You know, something they used when they were babies that you really associate with the now grown buggers who do nothing more than worry, torture, and torment their parents. But a jewel bedecked pacifier!

You may as well go out and buy a new Toyota Corolla for the bucks and make a keepsake out of that. At least you can drive the little beggars to school in it.